Random Thoughts

Sweet cakes and milkshakes

2012-03-02T20:05:00.002-08:00

Daydream delusion, limousine eyelash

Oh baby with your pretty face

Drop a tear in my wineglass

Look at those big eyes

See what you mean to me

Sweet-cakes and milkshakes

I'm a delusion angel

I'm a fantasy parade

I want you to know what I think

Don't want you to guess anymore

You have no idea where I came from

We have no idea where we're going

Lodged in life

Like branches in a river

Flowing downstream

Caught in the current

I carry you

You'll carry me

That's how it could be

Don't you know me?

Don't you know me by now?

Before Sunrise (1995)

Who Says :p

2011-11-21T22:32:00.000-08:00

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 12 friends who might enjoy doing the memo as well as the person you got the memo from.

1. If someone says "is this okay?" you say..
Gran Torino Theme Song - Jamie Cullum

2. What would best describe your personality?
Do You Know Me - John Mayer

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
Don't Say goodbye - Ten2Five

4. How do you feel today?
Fight The Future - The Trees and The Wild

5. What is your motto?
Just A Feeling - Maroon 5

6. What is your life's purpose?
Enchanted - Taylor Swift

7. What do your friends think of you?
Lonely - 2NE1

8. What do you think about very often?
I Don't Trust Myself With Loving You - John Mayer

9. What is 2+2?
High and Dry - Jamie Cullum (Radiohead Cover)

10. What do you think of your best friend?
In To You - Adhitia Sofyan

11. What do you think of the person you like?
Hang You Up - Yellowcard

12. What is your life story?
Say - John Mayer

13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Charlie Brown - Coldplay

14. What will they play at your funeral?
Paradise - Coldplay

15. What will you dance to at your wedding?

Greatest Cure - Adhitia Sofyan

16. What do you think when you see the person you like?
Breathe - Taylor Swift ft. Colbie Caillat

17. What is your hobby/interest?
Homesick - Kings of Convenience

18. What is your biggest secret?
Know How - Kings of Convenience

19. What's the worst thing that could happen?
Count on Me - Bruno Mars

20. What makes you cry?
Skyscraper - Demi Lovato

21.What makes you laugh?
I Do - Colbie Caillat

22. What is the one thing you regret?

Rolling In The Deep - Glee Cast (Adele Cover)

23. Will you ever get married?
Mr. Brightside - The Killers

24. What scares you most?
Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

25 What will you post this as?
Who Says - John Mayer

Iseng iseng berhadiah

2011-11-21T21:56:00.000-08:00

Kamu tau apa kesalahanmu?

Tidak, kamu tidak tahu.

Kesalahanmu adalah dengan seenaknya membuatku jatuh cinta.

Kamu tau apa hukumannya?

............................................ Memelukku.

dan tidak pernah melepaskanku.

random thought di siang hari, dalam kepenatan.

..........................................

2011-11-21T21:52:00.000-08:00

Kepada kamu,

Dengan penuh kebencian.

Aku benci jatuh cinta. Aku benci merasa senang bertemu lagi dengan kamu, tersenyum malu-malu, dan menebak-nebak, selalu menebak-nebak. Aku benci deg-degan menunggu kamu online. Dan di saat kamu muncul, aku akan tiduran tengkurap, bantal di bawah dagu, lalu berpikir, tersenyum, dan berusaha mencari kalimat-kalimat lucu agar kamu, di seberang sana, bisa tertawa. Karena, kata orang, cara mudah membuat orang suka denganmu adalah dengan membuatnya tertawa. Mudah-mudahan itu benar.

Aku benci terkejut melihat SMS kamu nongol di inbox-ku dan aku benci kenapa aku harus memakan waktu begitu lama untuk membalasnya, menghapusnya, memikirkan kata demi kata. Aku benci ketika jatuh cinta, semua detail yang aku ucapkan, katakan, kirimkan, tuliskan ke kamu menjadi penting, seolah-olah harus tanpa cacat, atau aku bisa jadi kehilangan kamu. Aku benci harus berada dalam posisi seperti itu. Tapi, aku tidak bisa menawar, ya?

Aku benci harus menerjemahkan isyarat-isyarat kamu itu. Apakah pertanyaan kamu itu sekadar pancingan atau retorika atau pertanyaan biasa yang aku salah artikan dengan penuh percaya diri? Apakah kepalamu yang kamu senderkan di bahuku kemarin hanya gesture biasa, atau ada maksud lain, atau aku yang-sekali lagi-salah mengartikan dengan penuh percaya diri?

Aku benci harus memikirkan kamu sebelum tidur dan merasakan sesuatu yang bergerak dari dalam dada, menjalar ke sekujur tubuh, dan aku merasa pasrah, gelisah. Aku benci untuk berpikir aku bisa begini terus semalaman, tanpa harus tidur. Cukup begini saja.

Aku benci ketika kamu menempelkan kepalamu ke sisi kepalaku, saat kamu mencoba untuk melihat sesuatu di handycam yang sedang aku pegang. Oh, aku benci kenapa ketika kepala kita bersentuhan, aku tidak bernapas, aku merasa canggung, aku ingin berlari jauh. Aku benci aku harus sadar atas semua kecanggungan itu…, tapi tidak bisa melakukan apa-apa.

Aku benci ketika logika aku bersuara dan mengingatkan, “Hey! Ini hanya ketertarikan fisik semata, pada akhirnya kamu akan tahu, kalian berdua tidak punya anything in common,” harus dimentahkan oleh hati yang berkata, “Jangan hiraukan logikamu.”

Aku benci harus mencari-cari kesalahan kecil yang ada di dalam diri kamu. Kesalahan yang secara desperate aku cari dengan paksa karena aku benci untuk tahu bahwa kamu bisa saja sempurna, kamu bisa saja tanpa cela, dan aku, bisa saja benar-benar jatuh hati kepadamu.

Aku benci jatuh cinta, terutama kepada kamu. Demi Tuhan, aku benci jatuh cinta kepada kamu. Karena, di dalam perasaan menggebu-gebu ini; di balik semua rasa kangen, takut, canggung, yang bergumul di dalam dan meletup pelan-pelan…

aku takut sendirian.

radityadika.com

You could be happy.

2011-11-07T18:52:00.000-08:00

You could be happy and I won't know

But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wish I had not said

Are played on lips 'til it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were

But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure

I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are

You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you

And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to

Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go

Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

Hellyea.

2011-11-07T18:12:00.000-08:00

Sudah cukup. Saya udah nggak tahan lagi kayak begini. Saya nggak suka diperlakukan kayak orang asing. Saya benci sekali bersikap ramah and got nothing but cold response in return. Siapa yang suka hah? You tell me. Saya nggak tau apa motivasi kamu bersikap ketus sama saya beberapa hari ini. Awalnya saya memaklumi, mungkin kamu, sama seperti saya, lagi capek. Lagi penat. Lagi sensi dan nggak mau diganggu. Tapi lama lama saya capek. Saya bener bener gak suka diperlakukan kayak gini. Maksudmu apa? Menciptakan suasana awkward kayak gini itu tujuannya apa? Apa gunanya buat kamu?

Kamu sudah nggak butuh saya mungkin? You took me for granted then got satisfied and went away. Mungkin saya berprasangka buruk sama kamu, tapi you tell me, apa lagi yang bisa terlintas di benak saya?

Sudah cukup. Kalau kamu memang mau mengakhiri permainan yg kamu mulai, oke! Saya nggak takut. Silakan saja.

Saya juga bisa bersikap kayak kamu.

Щ(ºДºщ)

:_)

2011-11-03T01:12:00.000-07:00

Forget how everyone told you how cute you were with him

Forget how he told you he loved your hair

Forget how you two laughed together

Forget how you both had a joke which only you two understood

Forget how he could always put a smile on your face

Forget how you two sang together

Forget how you shared stories together

Forget how you told him your dreams and he told you his

Forget how you lay your head on his shoulder

Forget how you hit his arm and he pinched your cheeks

Forget how cool he was while driving you home

Forget how he stared at you and giggled

Forget how crazy you both could be, together

Forget how you two talked until midnight

Forget how he said good night

Forget how he wished you a nice dream when you told him you were about to go to bed

Forget how he texted you everyday

Forget how his texts made your day

Forget how you two could easily go somewhere unintentionally

Forget how he held your hand

Forget how he let you wear his hoodie

Forget how your clothes smelt like him

Forget how happy you were back then.

Forget how you wish he would turn around, look back, and stay.

No need to look behind.

He's happy and you're just fine now.

:_)

Iseng iseng berhadiah

2011-10-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

Apa yang terjadi?

Setiap kata yang kau katakan menghujam hati

Namun jika kau tutup mulutmu dalam kebisuan,

Kehampaan mencengkeramku, menyelimutiku dengan lapisan es

Apa yang terjadi?

Tatapan matamu tidak lagi membuat hatiku hangat

Senyumanmu tak lagi mencairkan segala problema

Kata katamu tak lagi menjadi esensi semua puisi yang aku gubah

Kau tak lagi menaburkan warna dalam hidupku.

Eksistensimu tidak lagi jadi inti kebahagiaanku.

Tapi mengapa?

Tetap saja,

Tanpamu..

Dunia ini menjadi lahan yang asing di mataku.

Mengapa?

Thank You For Nothing

2011-10-19T20:06:00.000-07:00

Thank You For Nothing

Thank you for everything
Thank you for nothing
My brother, there is no in between
Never one without the other
I may not know anything
But I think I'm onto something
For every door opening,
There's another one slowly closing

Thank you for loving me
Thank you for leaving
Thank you for promising
And then promptly forgetting

For the gifts that were given
Just to be taken for granted
Studied indifference
Care turned to careless,
Once disenchanted

The glass that was filled
Then just as easily broken
Thank you for everything and thank you for nothing

Thank you for trusting me
And then biting the bullet
Thank you for laughing out loud
Even when you don't mean it

They say hurting is growing
If you believe when you say it

So I'll just keep saying it
Thank you, thank you
I'll just keep saying it
Thank you, thank you
I'll just keep saying it
Thank you, thank you

Thank you for everything and thank you for nothing at all
Thank you for nothing at all
Thank you for nothing at all

Happy birthday.

2011-10-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

It was a half past one.

Didn't know why, still I couldn't close my eyes.

I was just laying on my bed, shifting around uncomfortably.

I looked at my phone, feeling like someone has poured a bucket of cold water on to me.

It was your birthday.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday though I have no courage at all to say a thing to you directly.

I do wish everything in your life get better and better.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday though I would never punch that number again.

Isn't it funny how I still remember your number,

When its been removed for almost a couple of years?

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday though I would still go back to that state of not knowing,

And being awkward around each other

Happy birthday.

I wish you a long and happy life

From distance

A prayer from someone trapped in the past

Happy birthday

Have a great life ahead

Always feel loved,

Always feel blessed,

Because you are.

Happy birthday.

I put a bitter smile on my face

Closed my eyes and drifted to sleep..

Thanks.

2011-10-19T18:13:00.000-07:00

Tuhan punya skenario yang aneh.

Tiba tiba saya ingat tahun lalu.

Lucu, jujur aja, dulu saya seriiiiing sekali ngomongin kamu di belakangmu.

Saya sebal sama banyak keputusan keputusan kamu yang menurut saya nggak tepat. Saya menganggap kamu nggak terlalu bisa dikasih tanggung jawab. Saya menganggap kamu banyak omong. Kadang kalo kamu mulai bersilat lidah di depan saya, saya memutar bola mata dan membatin, "Please, shut the hell up. Talk less do more kek."

Saya sering mengeluh ke teman teman saya yang nggak kenal kamu, kamu begini, kamu begitu. Saya nggak puas sama tindakan tindakan kamu.

Lalu, kamu membuat kesalahan fatal. Man, I thought that was unforgiven. Hahaha. Now when I think about it (I think about it all the time btw) I feel it's kinda funny. Ironic.

Dan akhirnya, nggak tau gimana awalnya, tiba tiba kamu jadi teman yang bisa diandalkan. Aneh sekali rasanya. Lucu. Dulu saya berpendapat kamu nggak bisa diandalkan sebagai pemimpin, sekarang saya berpendapat kamu bisa diandalkan, sebagai teman.

Saya tiba tiba melihat sisi lain dari kamu, kelelahan kelelahan kamu, beban yang kamu tanggung. Kamu tau, entah kenapa melegakan sekali rasanya, tahu ada orang lain yang menanggung beban yang sama seperti yang kita tanggung. Rasanya.. Kamu mengerti apa yang saya rasakan, karena kamu sendiri mengalami.

Bisa lho, kamu matikan bom waktu kamu.

Bisa lho, kamu sediakan waktu sedikit buat mengeluh.

Jangan simpen semuanya sendiri, nanti bom waktunya tau tau meledak.

"Cause everybody hurts, sometimes

Take comfort in your friends..

Everybody hurts..

Don't blow your head, don't blow your head

If you feel like you're alone, no no no, you're not alone.."

Terima kasih sudah mau jadi teman yang dapat diandalkan,

Dan pendengar yang baik :)

#galauakademis

2011-10-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

halooo, saya ngeblog lagi neh B-)

mau ngomong apa ya? bingung juga. paling juga ga ada yg baca.. *jongkok di pojokan*

eniwei, saya sudah mahasiswa loooh. saya sudah mulai kuliah, sudah resmi jadi mahasiswa UGM, sudah resmi jadi keluarga Fakultas Teknik UGM, walaupun belum dilantik jadi anggota Keluarga Mahasiswa Teknik Elektro dan Teknologi Informasi. but soon, I will :)

"pirjak, kuliah enak nggak sih?"

NGGAK ENAK T______T

walaupun temen temennya udah mulai keliatan asik, udah mulai nyambung, tapi tetep aja aku belum kerasan disini. mentalku masih mental anak SMA yang nggak penah inget (apalagi nggarap) tugas, padahal sekarang udah nggak bisa lagi ke sekolah pagi pagi buat nyontek pr.. *sigh*

aku sama sekali nggak ngerti pelajarannya (ketauan kan begonya), karena pelajarannya cuma nyambung sedikit dari pelajaran SMA dulu, jadi aku harus mulai dari awal ya Tuhaaaaaaaaaaaan ampuni hamba :(((((

"lah, situ masuk teknologi informasi emang mau jadi apa? kok nggak dong pelajarannya gimana seh?"

beberapa hari kemaren aku take video buat life mapping, tugas ospek jurusan. aku bingung teman teman, sungguh aku tak punya prospek ke depan -________- bayangkan, anak gaptek kayak aku masuk Teknologi Informasi, maunya apa coba? buatku, cita cita cuma satu. keliling dunia. udah itu tok til. jangan tanya apa hubungannya sama jurusanku. dan jangan tanya kenapa aku mau masuk jurusan ini. #kemudianhening

kok aku jadi meracau ya? ah biarin deh. lega rasanya udah ngunek unek meskipun cuma sedikit. mungkin tulisanku nggak bermanfaat, yo rasah diwoco. bagi yang terlanjur ya diambil hikmahnya aja yaaa, just for sharing :D

salam cenat cenut,

pirjak-- maba galau.

Happy Birthday :)

2011-09-26T05:31:00.000-07:00

Lintaaaaang :D

Selamat ulang tahun ya, maaf aku nggak bisa terbang ke ngalam buat bikin surprise atau sesuatu yg lain. Semoga midnight call cukup :)

I heard you're okay now. You may get a little bit homesick but believe me it's okay.
Lintaaaang, I miss you so-so-so much. More than you know. Aneh banget rasanya nggak ada kamu, setelah 3 tahun selalu ketemu tiap hari, kemana mana berdua. Bener kata orang, kamu baru ngehargain keberadaan orang lain saat dia udah nggak ada. Bukannya aku nggak ngehargain kamu dulu, tp sekarang aku baru ngerasain betapa pentingnya kamu, setelah kamu jauh :') sumpah, rasanya kayak ada yg ilang, aku berkali kali kelepasan mau sms kamu ngajak makan bareng besoknya, like we used to :')

Gosh, I'm writing this in tears, I miss you so muuuuchhh :')

Lintang baik baik ya disana? Tetep jadi anak bapak yg nurut & nggak nakal, tetep jadi lintangku yang rajin, tetep jadi lintangku yang rapi & stylish :3 jangan lupa berbenah diri biar jadi lebih mandiri, lebih pinter, lebih cekatan, pulang pulang lintang harus jadi perempuan hebat! :)

Jangan lupa buat belajar sayang lagi sama orang, buat percaya lagi sama orang. Aku tau kamu punya pengalaman nggak enak, jgn bikin itu jadi momok buat kamu. Belajar dr kesalahan, tp jangan bikin kesalahan itu jadi hantu di masa lalu kamu. Berdamai sama perasaan sendiri :) arek ngalam pasti ada yg kece :3

I hope you always feel loved, because dear, you ARE loved :)

Much xxs- your firenze.

Marry Me ♥

2011-08-18T20:43:00.000-07:00

Marry Me - Train

Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say
Hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me
To feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies

And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm

Under My Bed - Meiko

2011-08-17T21:43:00.000-07:00

Now my eyes are wide open now that everything's been stolen
And I'm here to get it back from you

See I ain't wasting no more time
I gotta take back what's mine
What else am I suppose to do

Here I am with my heart on the floor and my love out the door
You should be knocking
But there it goes
I got nothing to show for except pictures I posed for
But I keep them in a box under my bed

I told you time and again that you'd never win
I told you time and again
But you keep doing the same old things when I thought you would change
I told you time and again

Here I am with my heart on the floor and my love out the door
You should be knocking
But there it goes
I got nothing to show for except pictures I posed for
But I keep them in a box under my bed

Here I am with my heart on the floor and my love out the door
You should be knocking
There it goes
I got nothing to show for except pictures I posed for

Here I am with my heart on the floor and my love out the door
You should be knocking
But there it goes
I got nothing to show for except pictures I posed for
But I keep them in a box under my bed..

Semacam Galau

2011-08-14T19:09:00.000-07:00

Innalillahi, aku lagi galau :|

Me: gimana sih kan kamu yang ngajak ngajak sendiri..

X: maap..

Aku diajakin keluarga..

Dan, aku udah nggak sebebas dulu mau pergi sama cewek :B

#kemudianhening

“Mampus, galau gue.”

Itu sekelumit pembicaraan aku dan si X via Y!m. Nggak persis kayak gitu sih, soalnya aku online pake hp dan ngga bisa dicopas chat historynya. Bahkan sekarang udah ngga bisa dibaca gara2 ketutup chat2 berikutnya.

Hei kamu, selamat ya.

Jujur aja aku masih berharap kamu cuma bercanda kayak biasanya. Jangan jangan beneran bercanda? :| *ngarep*

Bercanda atau enggak, kamu sukses bikin aku (sedikit) galau. Sampe sekarang aku nggak tau pasti siapa cewek yang begitu apesnya sampe bisa sama kamu (bercanda :p), kamu juga kayaknya ngga mau kasih tau, dan aku juga nggak mau maksa kamu buat kasih tau. Mungkin malah lebih baik buatku kalo aku ngga tau. Lagian katamu aku nggak kenal juga, mau ngapain coba -___-

…………………………………………………………… aku bingung mau nulis apa :|

Baik baik ya, aku harap kamu nemuin orang yang baik, yang peduli sama kamu tanpa harus ngekang kamu, yang bisa bikin kamu senyum lebih baik daripada aku, yang nggak pernah bikin kamu galau, dan yang penting: nggak pernah maksa kamu buat berubah jadi orang yang bukan kamu.

Aku mungkin bakalan ngehindar dari kamu untuk beberapa waktu, sampai aku bisa nguasain diri dan terbiasa sama keadaan yang sekarang. I may cry a little but I’ll be just fine. Aku dulu bisa tanpa kamu, jadi kenapa sekarang harus nggak bisa? Iya kan?

Tapi, kamu nggak akan aku lupain. Kamu akan selalu aku inget sebagai orang yang walaupun nyebelin setengah mati tapi baik, orang yang suka mencla mencle tapi sebenernya pinter, orang yang unik tapi bikin kangen, orang yang walaupun jokesnya suka kelewat aneh, tapi tetep aja selalu bisa bikin aku ketawa, atau paling engga senyum :)

Ihik. Jadi terharu.

Have a good life dude. Selamat membuka lembar baru :)

#eaaaaaa

Piss lop en gaul.

Wuthering Heights (Emily Brönte)

2011-08-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

Woohooo I’m writing again :D

Aku mau sedikit pamer nih :3 aku udah bisa naik motor saudara saudara! Naik motor! Gilak! Untuk seorang Raditha Firza Rahmaputri itu adalah hal yang sangat menakjubkan :B

But I’m not gonna write about that. I’m gonna talk about something serious *weseh*

I’ve just bought a book titled Wuthering Heights. Buku ini adalah salah satu literatur Inggris klasik. Dikarang oleh Emily Brönte, one of Brönte sisters.

nih penampakan bukunya

Aku udah pengen buku ini dari setahun yang lalu. Udah pernah denger judulnya dari SMP, trus tiba2 iseng cari storylinenya di google gara2 judulnya disebut sebut di film The Proposal dan novel Twilight Saga. Eh kayaknya bagus, ceritanya nggak biasa. Btw, this blogpost will spoil some of the story. If you are curios enough and want some surprise, don’t read this, read the book :p

Setelah dapet gaji pertama, aku beli buku ini :3 ternyata emang bagus. Banget. Two thumbs up buat Madam Brönte. Ceritanya klasik sekaligus modern, kisah cinta yang meledak ledak, penuh amarah dan kecemburuan, dan juga nafsu balas dendam. Nggak seperti kisah cinta kebanyakan yang manis dan romantis, kisah ini justru kebalikannya.

Pembaca bakal dibuat geregetan sama tokoh Catherine Earnshaw yang egois minta ampun dan plin plan. Walaupun tokoh si jahat pada novel ini adalah Heathcliff, menurutku Catherine lah biang kerok sesungguhnya. Menurutku keputusannya buat menikahi Edgar Linton lah yang memancing sisi terkelam Heathcliff. Keputusan itu, adalah keputusan bodoh dan nggak realistis. Sekaligus egois. Okelah dia mau membahagiakan Heathcliff dengan uang Linton, tapi mbok ya dipikir, gimana deh perasaannya Heathcliff? Sebagai orang yang mengenal heathcliff luar dalam, seharusnya dia mikir kalo itu bakal merendahkan harga diri Heathcliff, bagi Heathcliff sendiri. Heathcliff terlalu angkuh. Dan Catherine sudah merendahkannya sedmikian rupa. Catherine nggak mau menikahi Heathcliff karena dia nggak mau jadi pengemis atau sebangsanya, yang merendahkan status sosialnya.

Dan gara gara keputusan egoisnya itu, Heathcliff pergi, pulang tiga tahun kemudian dan membawa kebanggaan, kekayaan, harga diri yang lebih tinggi, dan tentunya, nafsu untuk membalas dendam pada Catherine Earnshaw, yang sekarang berubah nama menjadi Catherine Linton.

Bagi yang suka buku buku yang ceritanya suram, maka buku ini adalah must have item. Dan bagi yang suka novel novel romantis dengan tokoh tokoh yang berkepibadian idaman, well, mereka bakal kecewa berat baca buku ini. Ini memang kisah cinta, tapi nggak ada romantis romantisnya sama sekali.

Well, I’m gonna read the book again :D

Gonna write again soon :3

Happy Birthday, Bestfriend!

2011-07-31T21:24:00.000-07:00

I’mma write one blogpost about my very-best-friend :)

Aku kenal dia udah bertahun-tahun, sahabatan sama yayah juga selama itu. Bayangkaaaan, dari kelas 1 SD .__. Sempet sih agak merenggang waktu kita pisah sekolah di SMP. Dia SMP 8, dan aku.. errr.. aku langsung SMA kok :B

Waktu SMA kita deket lagi, meskipun (tetep) kita beda sekolah. Habis dia lebih pinter dari aku sih wkwk :p dia di SMA 3 sesuai pengenannya dia dulu, dan aku di SMA 6. Dan sekarang kita satu universitas, mesikpun lagi lagi beda jurusan :) Yayah mahasiswa UGM jurusan Hubungan Internasional, dan aku Teknologi Informasi.

Aku sama dia sama sama book freak. Dia dulu fans fanatik donal bebek, tapi sekarang katanya udah nggak langganan. Kumpulan komik donal bebeknya bejibun bro :o

Dia juga lumayan movie freak. Kalo libur hobinya ngerental film banyak trus ditonton di rumah. Hemat bensin gitu katanya. Ya sama aja sih kalo hemat bensin tapi duitnya kepake buat ngerental -___-

Dia sukanya nyindir nyindir kebiasaanku makan banyak banyak -____- dia punya kata khusus buat itu. “Penggemukan”. Rese deh :B

Dia orangnya blak-blakan, agak sinis malah T.T tapi gak tau kenapa aku gak pernah tersinggung kalo dia yang sinis gitu. Udah terlalu terbiasa kali ya. 12 tahun mamen :D

Katanya, kalo sahabatan udah lama pasti pernah berantem, herannya, kok menurutku enggak ya? Paling dia mendadak sinis gitu, tapi itu udah biasaaaaaaaaaa :B

Kadang kadang aku suka heran, dia bisa tau hal hal yang nggak pernah aku kasih tau dia. Katanya sih dia udah hapal diksiku -___- hebaaat. Padahal aku masih suka nggak ngerti diksinya dia .__.

Dia itu orang yang pertama kali aku sms buat aku mintain penyemangat. Selalu. Dari sms sms yang aku dapet waktu aku gagal masuk ITS dan Undip, cuma sms dari Yayah yang bisa ngurangi galau akademisku. Dan kalo sekarang aku jadi mahasiswa UGM, itu berkat mama dan temen temen yang baik sekali, selalu nyemangatin aku buat belajar. Terutama Yayah :’) terima kasih sayang. Words are never gonna be just enough to explain how much I thank you for all this time :)

Dia itu satu-satunya, bener bener satu-satunya, temen deket aku yang gak pernah bikin senewen. Kalo aku lagi ribut ribut, dari gara gara hal sepele sampe masalah ribet sekalipun, dia pasti bisa bikin aku lebih tenang. Nggak bohong. Dia itu mood boosterku yang paling cepat tanggap :D

Intinya, dia adalah sahabat saya yang paling dekat.

Yayah :D

Yayah yang pinter sekali tapi nggak suka matematika :o

Yayah yang nggak pernah bikin aku sebel :)

Yayah yang kadang suka senewen senewen nggak jelas sendiri :p

Yayah yang kalo ngomong ceplas ceplos :B

Yayah yang pinter mainan photoshop sama corel draw :3

Yayah yang buku bukunya banyak :D

Yayah yang pinter bahasa inggriiiiissssssssssssss, bikin iri :|

Yayah yang aku sayang :D

Banyak sekali yang udah yayah kasih buat aku, aku nggak tau harus bales pake apa :’)

Selamat ulang tahun, Yayah. I wish you a long life fulfilled with happiness and all the sweetest things.

Thank you for being very best friend for such a long time, dear.

Woof you! <3

“A best friend is the person you usually can be around always, and never get sick of.”

Salam cenat cenut dari temenmu yang paling fangki,

dan sayang sekali sama kamu :)

Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri

2011-07-26T20:04:00.000-07:00

I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love
I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

check the video here.

Before Sunrise (1995)

2011-07-25T23:43:00.000-07:00

Jesse: Alright, I have an admittedly insane idea, but if I don't ask you this it's just, uh, you know, it's gonna haunt me the rest of my life

Celine: What?

Jesse: Um... I want to keep talking to you, y'know. I have no idea what your situation is, but, uh, but I feel like we have some kind of, uh, connection. Right?

Celine: Yeah, me too.

Jesse: Yeah, right, well, great. So listen, so here's the deal. This is what we should do. You should get off the train with me here in Vienna, and come check out the capital.

Celine: What?

Jesse: Come on. It'll be fun. Come on.

Celine: What would we do?

Jesse: Umm, I don't know. All I know is I have to catch an Austrian Airlines flight tomorrow morning at 9:30 and I don't really have enough money for a hotel, so I was just going to walk around, and it would be a lot more fun if you came with me. And if I turn out to be some kind of psycho, you know, you just get on the next train.

Jesse: Alright, alright. Think of it like this: jump ahead, ten, twenty years, okay, and you're married. Only your marriage doesn't have that same energy that it used to have, y'know. You start to blame your husband. You start to think about all those guys you've met in your life and what might have happened if you'd picked up with one of them, right? Well, I'm one of those guys. That's me y'know, so think of this as time travel, from then, to now, to find out what you're missing out on. See, what this really could be is a gigantic favor to both you and your future husband to find out that you're not missing out on anything. I'm just as big a loser as he is, totally unmotivated, totally boring, and, uh, you made the right choice, and you're really happy.

Celine: Let me get my bag.

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

2011-07-25T23:31:00.000-07:00

"Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency."

"I know."

"I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently."

"And I can't give you that. Nobody can."

Top 10 Lagu Tergalau

2011-07-25T18:29:00.000-07:00

Selamat malam saudara saudara sebangsa dan setanah air.. uhuk. *keselek tasbih*

Mau ngepost tentang apa eaaa :D kayaknya kudu semedi lagi..

“Basi lo semedi mulu!”

Oke oke oke, sabar, aku udah nemu ide mau nulis apa :3 *pede dahsyat* *ditoyor mama*

I’m gonna write about my playlist :D

Playlistku isinya lagu galau semua, yeah. Aku emang bandarnya lagu galau B) *malah bangga*

Oke here we go :D

Di peringkat ke 10, ada A Thousand Miles dari Vanessa Carlton.

Ngga tau kenapa, lagu ini selalu bisa bikin memori yang ‘enggak enggak’ dari masa lalu balik lagi. Bikin kangen sama mantan pacar.

“Emang pernah pacaran lo?”

Iye iye berisik ah. Yah intinya bisa bikin KSBB lah. Liriknya mak crep.

“It’s always times like these when I think of you and I wonder if you ever think of me..”

“And I still need you, and I still miss you, and now I wonder..

If I could fall into the sky

Do you think time will pass me by

Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles if I could just see you.. tonight.”

Cukup mak crep kan?

Selanjutnya, di peringkat 9 ada Pergilah Kau dari idola saya jaman SD, Sherina :3

Pergilah Kau ini cocok buat para pacar pacar yang abis disakitin, dikhianatin atau apalah namanya. Lagu ini bikin galau, tapi juga sebenernya bikin sadar. Baik cowok maupun cewek, jangan mau deh dibego begoin pacar. Sekali dikhianatin, ya putusin aja :B kenapa aku jadi ketularan merekrut jomblo jomblo kayak @Poconggg sama @shitlicious ya -______-

“Pergilah kau, pergi dari hidupku

Bawalah semua rasa bersalahmu

Pergilah kau, pergi dari hidupku

Bawalah rahasiamu yang tak ingin kutahui..”

“Bertahun tahun bersama, kupercayaimu, kubanggakan kamu, kuberikan sgalanya

Aku tak mau lagi, ku tak mau lagi..”

Cukup bahas lagu ini, walaupun galau mampus tapi tetep aja gak pernah ngerasain :)) nggak pernah punya pacar sih mwihihihihi :3

Peringkat 8, diduduki oleh Sebuah Kisah Klasik Untuk Masa Depan dari Sheila on 7.

“Loh kenapa?”

Ya suka suka gue lah, gue yang bikin -_- :p

Lagu ini bikin galau karena lagu ini ngingetin aku sama masa masa SMA yang menyimpan begitu banyak cerita :3 wucieh gila bahasa gue :B

“Jabat tanganku, mungkin untuk yang terakhir kali

Kita berbincang tentang memori di masa itu

Peluk tubuhku, usapkan juga airmataku

Kita terharu seakan tiada bertemu lagi..

Bersenang senanglah, karena hari ini akan kita rindukan

Di hari nanti, sebuah kisah klasik untuk masa depan

Bersenang senanglah, karena waktu ini akan kita banggakan

Di hari tua..”

Lanjutannya gak usah ah.. nanti tambah kangen sama masa masa SMA dan temen temennya dan segala kerempongannya yang nggak akan pernah aku lupain :) hik. jadi terharu kan

Yuk cus cyiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnn, peringkat 7 nih udahan. Nangkring di peringkat 7, ada Blue Sky Collapse dari Adhitia Sofyan :D

Kalo Adhitia Sofyan udah nggak perlu ditanya lagi lah, dia penyanyi spesialis lagu galau. Lagu ini udah nggak perlu lagi lah diraguin, udah asli 100% galau. Cek liriknya dikit yuk cwiiinnn..

“As I walk at the end of the line

I wonder if I should look back

To all of the things that were said and done

I think we should talk it over

Then I noticed the sign on your back

It boldly says ‘try to walk away’

I go on pretending I’ll be okay

This morning, it hits me hard that

Still everyday I think about you

I know for a fact it’s not your problem

But if you change your mind you’ll find me hanging on to the place

Where the big blue sky collapse..”

Ekyaaaaa galau abis. Adhitia Sofyan punya. Hahaha. Yuk cuss aja cwiiiin, takut keterusan nih :p

Next, peringkat 6. Peringkat 6 direbut oleh Lady Antebellum dengan lagunya All We’d Ever Need :D

Lagu ini isinya hampir sama kayak Blue Sky Collapse, semacam masih nggondeli entah mantan pacar atau mungkin mantan gebetan, tapi secara sepihak :B

“Ya iyalah bego, namanya nggondeli pasti sepihak. Kalo dua pihak gak bakal galau.”

-_________________- cek liriknya yuk jama’aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..

“Boy, it’s been all this time, and I can’t get you off my mind

Nobody knows it, but me

I stare at your photograph, still sleep in the shirt you left

And nobody knows it, but me..”

Cihiy. Gilak, awal awalnya aja udah ngenes begitu -___________-

Lanjut yuk lanjoooooot, mulai ngantuk nih -,- di peringkat 5 ada Automatic Loveletter dengan lagunya Makeup Smeared Eyes. Disarankan dengerin yang akustik. Soalnya aku punyanya juga cuma yang akustik :p

Aku sebenernya nggak begitu nangkep si aku yang di lagu itu sebenernya diapain .___. Yang jelas patah hati lah, dan kata katanya juga ngenes abis ahuahua

“Wait, please don’t go, I won’t stay

All these words on replay

I’m okay, it’s all right, good to know that you’re fine

Pretending everything is right, to make it better

I’ll hide my make up smeared eyes, to show that I’m fine..”

Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaa galauuuuuwwwwccchhh -_- *lebay dikit

Btw, sekedar info aja, Automatic Loveletter – Hush juga galau lho :D *malah*

Hehehe. Ngerasa familier sama suaranya? Kalo kamu tau lagu Remembering Sunday dari All Time Low maka kamu emang pernah denger suaranya. Yep, vokalis Automatic Loveletter adalah Juliet Simms, yang sumbang suara juga di lagu itu :D

Jama’ah oooooooooooo jama’aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Udah sampe peringkat 4 niiiih. Ada The Script nongkrong di situ, dengan lagunya If You Ever Come Back :D sebenernya lagu ini intinya sama kayak Nothing , Breakeven, sama The Man Who Can Be Moved, tapi karena yang biasanya aku dengerinnya ini ya udah yang aku masukin ini. Tapi sepaket kok lagunya, isinya sama :))

“If you’re out there trying to move on

But something pulls you back again

I’m sitting here trying to persuade you like you’re in the same room

And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder

And I wish you could still give me the hard time

And I wish I could still wish it was over

But even if wishing is a waste of time, even if I never crossed your mind..

I’ll leave the door on the latch if you ever come back

There’ll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat

If you ever come back

There’ll be a smile on my face and the kettle on

And it would be just like you were never gone

There’ll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat

If you ever come back, if you ever come back now..”

No comment deh. *mendadak galau*

Peringkat 3! Say welcome to Adele, with her galau song: Someone Like You. Pertama kali denger lagu ini itu di blog, ada cewek gaul entah dari Jakarta atau Bandung aku kurang tau, nyanyiin lagu ini secara akustik. Liriknya mak crep dan dia nyanyiinnya juga bagus. Ya sudah, jadi tertarik deh nyari lagunya. Ternyata beneran mak crep euuuuy, sialan -___________- coba aja dengerin sendiri. Menurutku sih mak crep crep. Nih spoiler liriknya:

“Never mind I’ll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you, too

Don’t forget me, I beg

I remember you said

Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead..”

………………………………………………………

Kalo yang lagi nyesek liat mantan pacar atau mantan gebetan jadian, boleh coba lagu ini untuk meningkatkan kegalauan :p

Lanjuuuuuuuuuuuuut. Di peringkat 2 ada Bye Bye dari Mariah Carey sang diva yang sekarang nggak mau dipanggil diva, tapi tetep aja dia seorang diva :)) terserah deh mau nanggepin gimana, diabaikan juga boleh -.-

Kenapa Bye Bye bisa masuk jajaran Top Ten lagu galau versi Raditha Firza Rahmaputri nan cantik jelita? (diabaikan boleh)

Karena si Raditha Firza-nya suka galau sendiri kalo denger lagu ini. Kalo lagu ini ceritanya tentang kehilangan nenek, si cewek labil ini ingetnya kakeknya sob *sok asik*

“All them grown folk things, separation brings

You never let me know it, you never let it show because you love me

And obviously, there’s so much more left to say

If you were with me today, face to face..”

“And you never got the chance to see how good I’ve done

And you never see me back at number one

I wish that you were her to celebrate together

I wish that we can spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night

With the teddy bear you gave to me that I held so tight

I thought you were so strong you’ll make it through whatever

It’s so hard to accept the fact you’re gone forever..”

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I really really miss you, Grandpa. I wish you’re happy there. Your grand daughter loves you like a lot :’) *curhat*

Tuh kan galau kan. Mewek mewek sendiri kan. Udah ah yuk lanjut ajah.

And finally! Saatnya membacakan siapa jawara lagu tergalau versi Raditha Firza :))

Aku nggak tau kenapa lagu ini aku tempatin sebagai jawara. Sakjane ya nggak melas melas amat sih. tapi lagu ini selalu bisa bikin aku mendadak mellow dan keinget yang enggak enggak. Bener bener mellow. Selain itu beatnya juga slow, bikin suasana galaunya makin mencekam *halah*

So please welcome, MYMP with their song titled I’ll Never Get Over You (Getting Over Me)

“I hear you're taking the town again

Having a good time

With all your good time friends

I don't think that you think of me

You're on your own now

And I'm alone and free

I know that I should get on with my life

But a life lived without you could never be right

As long as the stars shines down from the heaven

Long as the rivers run to the sea

I'll never get over you gettin' over me

I tried to smile so the hurt won't show

Tell everybody I was glad to see you go

But the tears just won't go away

Loneliness found me

Looks like it's here to stay

I know that I ought to find someone new

But all I found is myself always thinkin' of you

As long as the stars shines down from the heaven

Long as the rivers run to the sea

I'll never get over you gettin' over me

No matter what I do

It's just a lifetime to live through

I can't go on like this

I need your touch

You're the only one I ever loved..

And as long as the stars shine down from the heaven

Long as the rivers run to the sea

I'll never get over you gettin' over me

I'll never get over you gettin over

Never get over you.. gettin over

I'll never get over you gettin' over me..”

Akhirnyaaaaaaaaa selesai juga :D kalo kurang puas, kurang galau, atau urutan galaunya nggak tepat, maaf. Ini berdasar opini aja sih, sama perasaan J well, but thanks for reading anyway :D

Someday I’ll write this kind of chart again, mungkin top 10 lagu kasmaran versi Raditha Firza :B

Salam galau dan cenat cenut.

A Quote by @shitlicious

2011-07-24T22:31:00.000-07:00

Found this while blogwalking here:

"Kalo  kalian sedang berjuang, jangan sekali2 kalian ngeliat orang2 yang  udah  sukses dan enak2an di atas sana.. karena itu bakal bikin kalian  makin  down.. Kalo kalian merasa hampir nyerah, liatlah ke belakang..  udah  berapa jauh kalian jalan, udah berapa banyak support yang dikasih   orang2 ke kamu.. dan udah berapa banyak pengorbanan yang udah kalian   lakuin.. sehingga kalian bakal nyadar, itu semua nggak boleh diakhiri   cuma gara2 sandungan2 kecil.."

quote by @shitlicious

meskipun kayaknya orangnya slengean, geje, dan nggak lulus lulus, ternyata bisa bijak juga :)
everyone does have another side, beside the side they always show you.

inspiring.

click here to read more.

nikah muda -_____-

2011-07-24T10:41:00.000-07:00

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*oke, lebay

Aku dapet kabar, kakak kelas temenku ada yang nikah. Yes, NIKAH. Padahal dia baru lulus SMA tahun kemaren, walaupun itungannya dia angkatan 2009, tapi ikut AFS, nunggak secara terhormat. *oke frontal

……………………………………………………….

qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm.

I was like, “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT????? MARRIED AT EARLY 20???????????????????”

Aku nggak lebay ini, beneran histeris sendiri.

Temen temen pada bilang, “Kowe kok lebay e fir -.- nggak MBA juga, sukarela ini“

Bodo amat. Mau MBA mau sukarela, I never think of getting married that early.

Jujur aja ya, ini menurut opiniku sendiri, masa muda itu harusnya digunakan baik baik.
Dan MENIKAH, tidak termasuk kegiatan yang “baik baik” untuk dilakukan di masa muda. I do really think it’s old people’s thing. Maygawd, I still can’t believe there still are some people who want to get married early. WTF?!?

Bukannya melecehkan prinsip hidup orang lain, tapi aduuuuh gimana yaaaa :S

Aku pikir, sebelum menikah, kita perlu melihat dunia dulu, menikmati rasanya jadi young and single person, dan merasakan kemewahannya. Bersenang senang. Banyak yang masih harus dicapai, secara prestasi, financial, akademik, dan lain lain. Perlu ketemu orang banyak dan tau cara menghadapi berbagai macam karakter orang. Perlu menjelajah kemana mana, keliling dunia, membahagiakan diri sendiri dan bikin bangga orang tua. Aku tau kedengerannya dangkal, but hey, it is precious. It is something you can tell your kids proudly. I am that kind of girl who wants to tell her kids someday, “You know honey, when Mommy was young and single, I went backpacking to Karimunjawa alone and it was effing fun!”

I’m such an adventure craver. And marriage is the last adventure I wanna try. Literally the last.

Like Zidnie said, “Kalo aku nikah umur 21, mau tak apain suamiku?”

Bener banget. Umur 20 awal itu harusnya kita masih menata, merancang masa depan kita sendiri, bukan masa depan keluarga .___________. Lagipula, ada kemungkinan juga umur segitu belum matang secara mental untuk menghadapi ribetnya rumahtangga. Bisa masih labil. Kalo ternyata nggak sreg, mau apa coba? Pernikahan kan ngga segampang pacaran. Pacaran aja susah, apalagi nikah -.-

Keliatannya aku berpikiran sempit ya? nggak mau ngeliat dari sisi lain. Bodo amat deh, I just want to share my opinion. I really don’t want to get married at early 20 -_______________-

Salam cenat cenut,
Remaja labil yang nggak mau nikah muda.

Galau SNMPTN

2011-07-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

Aku gak tau mau nulis apa :o
Karena aku (sudah) nggak galau, nggak mungkin kan ya aku nulis gegalauan :3 *sombong
Semedi dulu ah~

-------------------------------------------------------------

Aha! *ting
Halah.
Cukup basa basinya. I’m gonna write about.. err.. waktu aku galau akademis gara gara Seleksi Nasional Masuk Perguruan Tinggi Negeri (SNMPTN). *wussssssssssssshhhhhhhhh

Aku dulu termasuk salah satu yang beruntung bisa dapet jatah password dari sekolah buat ikut SNMPTN jalur undangan. Aku juga nggak tau kenapa aku bisa nyangkut, setauku yg bisa ikut itu yang rapornya konsisten masuk 25% ranking kelas, padahal kayaknya aku enggak tuh -.- ya sudah, aku bersyukur. Pilihan universitasku adalah ITS sebagai pilihan pertama dan Undip sebagai pilihan kedua. Sesuai cita cita, aku masukin pilihannya teknik semua, aku nggak mau terjebak di pilihan yang nggak aku pengenin, karena kalo jalur undangan itu nggak bisa mengundurkan diri dan kalo nekat mengundurkan diri, dampaknya berimbas ke 3 angkatan di bawahku.

Aku udah nyoba kalkulasi nilaiku, nyoba nyoba menganalisa sendiri. Setauku, kalo jalur nontes itu requirementnya adalah nilai yang grafiknya stabil. Aku coba ngitung rata-rata nilaiku dari semester ke semester. Shock. Nilaiku anjlok drastis di semester 4. Matilah. Udah nilai mepet, ada yang anjlok pula. Dan tandingannya adalah anak anak Surabaya. Setauku, kalo di kota besar gitu nilainya tinggi tinggi .____.

Buat menghibur diri sendiri, aku nyoba ngitung per mata pelajaran. Karena jurusan impianku itu teknik kimia, aku liat nilai kimia, matematika, sama fisikaku. Ya, FISIKA. Perasaanku udah nggak enak -.-

Liat nilai kimia.. aman. Nilai kimiaku stabil, bahkan cenderung naik terus. Cukup pede.

Sekarang matematika.. uhh.. mulai ada perasaan nggak enak.

Giliran fisika.. langsung gemeteran. Mampus gue, nggak bakal tembus kayaknya.

Karena ada macem macem setelah daftar, maka aku tenang tenang aja. Eh tau tau udah bulan juni aja. Mati. Semacam kena serangan galau akademis. I didn’t put my expectation too high, but still, I did hope for the result, even just a little. Siapa juga yg nggak berharap diterima lewat jalur undangan? Udah cepet tenang, nggak perlu belajar ngiwut buat utul pula. Asik kan?
Tapi ternyata Allah punya rencana lain. Aku ditolak. Kecewa, jelas. Siapa yang nggak kecewa. Walaupun udah ngerti kalo kayaknya nggak bakal diterima dengan rapor busuk dan pilihan tinggi kayak gitu, tetep aja galau akademis. Makin nyesek setelah tau temen temen deketku keterima. Just name it. Yayah, HI UGM. Lintang, PWK Brawijaya. Anti, Komunikasi UI. Dimas, Komunikasi UGM. Dan aku? Aku bukan mahasiswa mana mana. Aku kurang beruntung. Aku bukan mahasiswa Teknik Kimia ITS maupun Undip, dan waktu itu, rasanya aku bukan siapa siapa. Aku beneran galau berminggu minggu, mimpi buruk, nangis juga berminggu minggu. Itu, adalah kekecewaan terbesar yang pernah aku alamin. Banyak orang yang sms, nyemangatin, tapi juga ada yang annoying. Aku cerita, abis belajar dan sekarang pusing, dalem hati pengen disemangatin, jawabannya malah “aku abis karaokean :B” sakit hati. Bener bener sakit hati.

Aku belajar bener bener keras. Mungkin aku masih bolos bolos les, tapi aku di rumah selalu belajar. Selalu. Bela belain pinjem buku buku penunjang dari Yayah. Kemana mana selalu bawa buku pelajaran atau paling enggak soal. Setiap kali inget waktu aku nggak diterima, aku nangis, tapi habis itu aku hapus airmataku, ambil soal dan mulai belajar lagi.
H-5 sampe hari H, aku les privat. Setiap hari ada paling enggak 2 pelajaran, kadang 3. Dibela2in les di teras gara2 eyang belum pulang & aku nggak dibawain kunci. :’)
Hari H SNMPTN tulis, aku siap. Atau aku piker aku siap. Aku kerjain sebisaku, lewatin yang nggak bisa. Besoknya dicocokin sama kunci yang di koran. 46,5%. Aku mulai optimis, tahun lalu, passing grade pilihan pertamaku, Teknologi Informasi, ‘cuma’ 35,00%. Tapi takut juga sih, tahun lalu pendaftar 7000an dan yg diterima cuma 80. Dan lewat SNMPTN tulis, tahun ini cuma ada 30 kursi. Ribuan orang ngerebutin 30 kursi, emange iso -.-

Tanggal 29 Juli 2011, aku buka web resmi SNMPTN.

penampakan hasilnya nih :')

Ternyata, aku bisa! Semua keringat dan airmataku nggak sia sia. Alhamdulillah, aku nyangkut di Teknologi Informasi UGM. antara nggak percaya, seneng, dan terharu. Aku nggak berani liat hasilnya, jadi aku minta mama yang liatin sementara aku ngumpet di punggung mama. Seneng banget rasanya waktu liat mama sama eyang nangis saking senengnya. Kita pelukan bertiga ala teletubbies gitu deh sambil nangis :’)

It was the greatest time of my life so far. If Dementors exist, I will use that memory to help me create a Patronus, if you know what I mean.

Sambil bikin post ini aku mikir. Kalo dulu aku diterima lewat jalur undangan, aku nggak akan tau rasanya berjuang buat ngedapetin sesuatu. Aku ngak bakal tau rasanya gagal, nggak tau gimana caranya bangkit lagi. I’m not saying that those who were accepted in SNMPTN tulis are smarter or what, I’m just being grateful of what Allah was trying to teach me, how to struggle for something you want.
Untuk yang belum diterima, jangan berkecil hati. Masih ada jalur ujian mandiri untuk universitas2 selain UGM dan ITB kan? Masih ada universitas universitas swasta, yang kualitasnya nggak kalah dari universitas negeri. Masih ada kesempatan lagi tahun depan.

Every time you regret, remember, God provides what you NEED, not what you WANT. Sometimes it’s the same, sometimes it’s not. All you can do is BE THE BEST OF YOU in the way God sets you in. Good luck.

:)

2011-06-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

"Mungkin aku tidak bisa ikut
tertawa saat kamu merasa
senang dan tidak bisa ikut
menangis saat kamu merasa
sedih, tapi ketika kamu
mengalami semua itu, aku ingin
ada di sana, di sampingmu. Itu saja. Itu yang kurasakan"

Devon to Sophie
Morning Light by Windhy puspitadewi.

...............

2011-05-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

Oh God.
This is literally the first time I feel unhappy.
Not just not okay like usual, this is more.

I'm not happy this time.

God, please help me through this :'(

Sagittarius

2011-05-02T01:19:00.001-07:00

Aku sebenernya nggak begitu percaya sama astrologi. Percaya kalo ramalannya baik baik doing muehehehe :B

Tapi aku suka personality traits forecast berdasarkan astrologi. I’m Sagittarius. I like how they, astrologers, describe the personality traits of Sagittarius.

Sagittarius has a positive outlook in life, open-minded, they over come disappointments easily.

They are intellectual and philosophical and also good humored.

Sagittarius is full of energy, versatile, and eager for adventure. You will often find them travelling and exploring far away places. However, they are also restless, seldom setting in one place for very long.

Sagittarius is a friendly, likeable sign and has no shortage of friends. They show kindness and are helpful towards others. They are trustworthy, reliable, and honest. They have strong morals and have a tendency to being outspoken and quick to anger though are also forgiving. They can be faithful to their partner but there is the risk of the Sagittarius of being restless and wandering. They are however adaptable, and if they try, are able to balance their independence with loyalty.

Career wise they love teaching, and are interested in law and politics; they will also like any job, which is involved travelling. Sagittarius can be impatient and have a tendency to rush through new projects too quickly, making them prone to carelessness. They are broad-minded and inquisitive, loving anything new and interesting.

Nah, that’s what astrologers say about my sign, Sagittarius. Thought it’s prrrrrrrrrrrretty keewwwl!

Honestly, that’s what I want myself to be. Some people said I’m so “Sagittarius”, and I’m proud of it. :)

Ronggowarsito

2011-05-02T01:17:00.000-07:00

”Amenangi jaman edan, ewuh oyo ing pambudi.

Melu edan ora tahan, yen ora melu nglakoni ora bakal keduman.

Wekasane bisa kaluwen.

Nanging ndilalah kersanig Allah,

Begja-begjane kang lali,

Isih luwih begja kang eling lan waspada.”

Mengalami jaman gila, serba sulit dalam pemikiran.

Ikut gila tidak tahan, tetapi kalau tidak ikut bakal tidak kebagian, akhirnya bisa kelaparan.

Tetapi kehendak Allah,

Sebahagia-bahagianya orang yang lupa,

Masih lebih bahagia orang yang sadar dan waspada.

Bait ke-7 Serat Kalatidha

Ronggowarsito.

random

2011-05-02T01:14:00.000-07:00

Pernah gak sih kamu makan eskrim, kamu makannya sedikit sedikit soalnya gak pengen cepet abis,

Tapi tiba tiba ada orang yang nabrak kamu sampe eskrimnya jatoh?

Naaaaaaaaaaaaahh.. rasanya begitu bro.

Kamu, melakukan sesuatu dengan hati-hati, dengan harapan dapet hasil yang terbaik dan memuaskan, tapi pada akhirnya seseorang merenggutnya di depan matamu, hanya karena “ketidaksengajaan”.

Dia bahkan nggak makan eskrimnya, halooooooo. Trus buat apa coba? Sia-sia banget kan?

Kenyataan itu memang kadang kejam ya.. *liatin eskrim jatuh*

mimpi

2011-05-02T01:10:00.000-07:00

Rasanya kayak..

Kamu punya banyak impian. Kamu sadar kalo beberapa dari impian kamu itu bakalan sulit banget terwujud. Butuh banyak pengorbanan sampe mimpi itu terwujud. Ada yang bahkan hamper mustahil terwujud.

Tapi suatu hari.. semua mimpi kamu itu jadi kenyataan. Kamu seneeeeng banget, kamu bener-bener bersyukur semua itu terwujud.

Kamu sudah terbiasa hidup dengan mimpi-mimpi yang terwujud itu, sampai suatu saat..

BANG!

Seseorang membangunkanmu. Kamu terbangun, sadar kalo hidup yang ada di mimpimu itu.. ya cuma mimpi.

Itu menyakitkan sekali.

Mimpi yang indah itu menyakitkan, karena itu nggak nyata.

Cuma mimpi.

…………………. Lalu kamu terbangun dan menyadari kenyataannya.

wonderwall

2011-05-02T00:56:00.000-07:00

“…. And all the roads we have to walk are winding,
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you,
But I don’t know how..”

Hey stalker, I know it can be a rough way to get with you,
I may have to sacrifice some things,
May shed some tears,
May get some bad days,
But I’ll do almost anything.
And I’ll risk it all.

“….Because maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me
And after all, you’re my wonderwall..”

Hey stalker!

………………………….…. I woof you.

Flashback

2011-05-02T00:44:00.000-07:00

I don’t know why on earth I’m writing this to you, since there seems to be no chance for you to read this. But well, I’m still writing this anyway.

Hey, it’s been years since I first knew you.

You’re a friend of friend, I just “added” you in to my friends list in spontaneity. And you greeted me.

It was like long time ago. You were stranger.

Then few months ago, you came in to my life, through social-networks, like before. I greeted you.

Aku inget jawabanmu yang super nyebelin waktu itu. “Oh, ini Firenze Firenze nggak jelas itu ya?” Hey wait! Siapa yang kamu bilang nggak jelas? :p

Selewat beberapa waktu, ya cuma gitu doang sih. You were still stranger, I didn’t give a shit to know you better.

………………………….. Until that day you asked for my Y!m id.

Hahaha, simple eh? Bahkan sebenernya nggak bermutu -___-

Kamu sering ngechat aku tiba-tiba, dengan status invisible to everyone (kamu emang raja invis :p). Kadang aku bisa nebak kamu sebenernya online, tapi invis. Buat aku, kamu itu predictable :)

Kamu lucu :) selalu adaaaaa aja “quote” aneh aneh hasil pemikiranmu yang ajaib dan nggak biasa. Tapi kadang kamu juga suka galauuuuuuuu, trus jadi jutek sendiri gitu deh :p

Dulu aku selalu tidur di bawah jam 9 malem. Kamu pernah bilang, “Manusia apaaaa kamu tidur jam segini? “ “Jam segini kok udah mau tidur to? Payah huuuuu..”. Tapi, sejak kamu masuk contact list Y!mku, aku jadi tahan melek sampe malem. Kamu nggak pernah bikin aku bosen :) terima kasih yaaa. Tapi sisi negatifnya, aku jadi susah tidur sebelum jam 10, dan itu bikin bangun kesiangaaaaaaaaaaaaaan -_________-

………………………………. Lalu kamu minta nomerku. Inget?

Kamu kayak mas mas gondes! :p

Aku ngakak sengakak ngakaknya waktu kamu minta nomer hpku. Aku jarang ngasih nomer hp ke orang yang tak kenal di dunia maya, apalagi cowok, nggak pernah. Tapi aku tau kamu “nyata”, beneran ada, dan aku pikir kamu bukan cowok iseng hehe ;)

“Kamu punya palu?”

“Punya, kenapa?”

“ Yaahh.. :| err.. kalo nomer hp punya jg nggak?”

“Oooohh.. kamu minta nomerku?”

“Iyaa :p”

And that was the official beginning :)

Aku inget, sms pertamamu itu ucapan lebaran, dan itu masih aku simpen sampe sekarang.

Aku sukaaaaaa sekali good nightmu :) sampe kadang aku suka maksa maksa kamu buat sms gitu hihi :p

Hey, aku kangen goodnightmu itu :) semuanya masih aku simpen.

Kalo boleh jujur, dulu semua smsmu mau nggak aku hapus. Sampe akhirnya aku mutusin buat nyortir semuanya, nyimpen yang unyu unyu, dan ngehapus sisanya. 200s messages deleted. Dan masih ada 100an lagi.

Aku inget waktu kita pertama kali ketemu!

Aku tau kamu mau ke amplas, dan aku kebetulan diajak mama ke sana. Mama sama temen temennya. Aku jalan jalan sendiri. Smsan sama kamu. Kamu bilang kamu lagi di taman sari. Aku lewat sana, tapi aku nggak ngenalin kamu yang mana. Ya uadah aku turun. Kamu bilang kamu hadep oishii bento. Pas aku lewat sana lagi, aku liat cowok yang hadep oishii bento, sendirian, dan bawa laptop, cuma ada satu.

Gotcha! It was you :)

Setelah itu, kita sering ketemu. Setiap waktu yang aku habiskan sama kamu masih ada di kepala. Cara kamu bikin aku ketawa, cara kamu ketawa, cara kita ketawa.

Sampe akhirnya kamu ilang dan nggak tau kemana.

Aku sedih loh. Aku galau berminggu minggu, serius -_____- kamu bahkan nggak ngucapin selamat ulang tahun buat aku.

It sucked, you know. How much time will it take to say a single Happy Birthday? Less than a minute!

Bu it’s okay. Later then you finally said it :)

……………………………. It was your birthday! :)

I sent you a Happy Birthday, and you replied it! I was so shocked since I didn’t get your reply for more than a couple of months. This is sad, honestly ;____;

But.. you said you were mad at me. I asked why, and you said you were afraid of falling for me, an afraid of me falling for you too. But you didn’t say anything further than that. I was like.. “Okay. No pressure.” but deep inside I was so CURIOUS. And I still am.

But later then you asked me out. I was like, “Am I dreaming?’ because just few days backwards you said you didn’t want to get involved in to crush with me. It was weird.

Few weeks forward I pressured you to say what was on your mind. You said you just.. wanted to concentrate. But the thing was, all you did later on didn’t show that you were concentrating on your study. Did you lie? No?

…………………………. After considering the risks, I decided to confess to you. About what I’m feeling for you.

You said, “Thanks :)” but you didn’t know what else to say. Kamu baik sekali nanggepinnya. Kamu setuju buat nggak berubah, kayak nggak ada apa apa di antara kita. Like you’re just another friend of mine.

Lately, seems like I’m breaking m own promise. Am I not?

Sorry, I just.. flashback.

Mungkin aku belum bisa buat move on.

Mungkin aku masih membodohi diri, mengira masih ada yang tersisa buat diselamatkan.

Mungkin aku bodoh.

Mungkin aku salah.

Tapi..

Flashback kayak gini bisa bikin aku senyum senyum sendiri, bahkan ketawa kayak orang gila. No point, huh? Sorry.

I miss going out and spending time with you!

P.S.: I wrote this in red because I think red will match you best. Your school, and your favorite football team :)

P.P.S.: Kamu mau brownies lagi nggak? :p

“Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles,

If I could just see you..

Tonight.”

Vanessa Carlton – A Thousand Miles.

Morning Light

2011-05-02T00:40:00.000-07:00

Adegan ini adalah cuplikan dari novel yang pernah aku baca, dan nggak tau kenapa, aku suka banget adegan ini. My tears dropped down, I just couldn’t help it. Isn’t it great to have someone caring about you like this?

Devon baru kembali ke rumahnya saat petang dan saat dia pulang, Sophie sudah berdiri menunggu di depan rumahnya.

“Kamu menungguku dari tadi?” tanya Devon.

Sophie mengangguk. “Karena aku tidak tahu kapan kamu pulang.”

“Kenapa?”

“Bukankah sudah kukatakan karena aku tidak tahu kapan kamu pulang?” ulang Sophie dengan nada meninggi.

“Maksudku, kenapa kamu sampai menungguku seperti ini?”

“Jangan pernah! Dengan santainya bertanya seperti itu pada orang yang mengkhawatirkanmu setengah mati!” geram Sophie, matanya mulai berkaca-kaca. “Kamu dari mana saja?!”

“A.. aku dari Simpang Lima, jalan-jalan sebentar menenangkan pikiran,”jawab Devon yang masih kaget karena melihat Sophie yang emosi.

Airmata Sophie menetes. Untuk pertama kalinya dia menangis di hadapan orang lain. Dia mencengkeram keras-keras kaus sepakbola Devon, lalu menunduk.

“Aku khawatir setengah mati,” katanya dengan suara bergetar. “Aku kira.. aku kira.. kamu akan melakukan hal-hal yang berbahaya..”

Jantung Devon serasa tiba-tiba berhenti berdetak. Sophie yang selama ini tidak pernah terlihat menangis bahkan saat novelnya ditolak dan diminta untuk berhenti menulis, sekarang menangis untuknya. Dadanya tiba-tiba terasa sakit. Dia tidak menyangka hanya melihat seseorang menangis bisa membawa rasa sakit hingga ke ulu hati sebesar itu. Dia memeluk gadis itu. Sangat erat dari pelukan manapun yang pernah dilakukannya sejak mereka kecil.

“Kamu mengkhawatirkanku sampai seperti ini?” tanya Devon pelan.

“Tentu saja, bodoh!” pekik Sophie sambil terisak.

Devon menghela napas. “Maaf..”

Sophie menangis cukup lama dan ketika sudah agak tenang, Devon melonggarkan pelukannya, lalu menjitak kepala Sophie pelan.

“Aduh, apa-apaan kamu ini?” protes Sophie.

Sophie merengut.

“Kamu ini,” desah Devon. “Kenapa tidak mempercayai kata-kataku? Bukankah sudah kubilang aku tidak apa-apa?”

Sophie tidak menjawab.

“Kembalilah ke rumahmu,” pinta Devon. “Aku juga, masih ada yang harus kuselesaikan.”

“Eh?” Sophie mencengkeram kaus Devon lagi.

“Tidak apa-apa,” kata Devon sambil tersenyum. “Aku akan tetap menyukai sepakbola. Seperti katamu, aku tidak akan membiarkan siapapun atau apapun merenggut perasaan ini dariku. Saat ini, aku hanya butuh dukunganmu.”

Devon menatap Sophie. “Lebih dari apapun dan siapapun.”

Sophie tertegun, dia melepaskan tangannya.

Devon menatap mata Sophie dalam-dalam. “Percayalah padaku.”

Sophie terdiam sesaat lalu mengangguk. “Umh.”

Devon tersenyum.

Ada lagi broooo.. yang ini juga gak tau kenapa bikin mbrebes mili. Iya iya aku cengeng -.- blah. Aku iri sekali yang ini huhuhuh. It would be absolutely great to have someone, who can “read your mind”, know what your feeling without asking.

“ Kenapa lama sekali?” tanya Devon begitu Sophie keluar pagar.

“Sorry.. sorry.. tadi aku sedang menelepon editorku,” kata Sophie dengan wajah menyesal.

“Tentang novelmu?”

Sophie mengangguk. “Karena sampai sekarang aku belum juga dapat jawabannya apakah akan diterima atau nggak. Mbak Dewi bilang, jawabannya akan dia kasih tau besok, sorry sekali lagi.”

“Aku sih nggak apa-apa, tapi Julian dan Agnes sekarang pasti sudah jadi ijo gara-gara lumutan kelamaan nunggu,” kata Devon sambil meringis. Dia meregangkan ototnya sebelum membuka pintu mobil.

“Aku tidak sabar ingin makan sandwichnya!!” serunya dengan nada antusias dan mata berbinar-binar. “Lalu black forest,..”

Sophie tiba-tiba terdiam.

“Hei, kamu kenapa?” tanya Devon bingung. “Sakit gigi? Atau lapar?”

Sophie masih membisu dan hanya berdiri terpaku di depan Devon.

“Ah aku tahu! Kamu akhirnya memutuskan untuk diet ya?” kata Devon sambil tertawa.

Tepat pada saat Devon sedang tertawa, tangan Sophie memegang kedua pipi Devon lalu menariknya keras-keras.

“ADUDUDUDUDUDUH!!!!!!” erang Devon. “Apa-apaan sih?”

Sophie menatap mata Devon. “Apa kamu tidak capek berpura-pura seperti itu?”

“Hah?”

Sophie melepaskan tangannya dari pipi Devon, lalu masuk ke mobil tanpa mengatakan apa-apa. Devon masih melongo, tapi tidak butuh waktu lama hingga dia tahu apa yang sedang terjadi. Dia pun tersenyum. Di dunia ini mungkin hanya Sophie yang bisa membaca perasaannya.

“Thanks,” katanya pada Sophie begitu mobil dijalankan.

Taken from Morning Light by Windhy Puspitadewi.

This novel is worth enough to read. Sayangnya satu, I know someone named Devon, and I can’t help imagining this Devon as him. Kinda ruining the character’s impression for me ._____. But it’s ok, enjoy this novel.

Single quote :)

2011-04-28T19:00:00.001-07:00

"Being single used to mean that nobody wants you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."

Carrie Bradshaw - Sex and the City

Manipulative!

2011-04-25T01:36:00.000-07:00

"Ya maaf... Aku dah lari2 cari pulsa tu lho buat sms kamu :("

"Wo maraah wo maraah.. Gamau ah >,<
Besok deeh yayaya"

isn't that funny how someone pisses you off easily,

and you forgive him/her more easily?

Sweet excuses are the most dangerous and manipulative ones.

surat untuk nananina

2011-04-18T22:39:00.000-07:00

hai.

kamu apa kabar?
gimana ujiannya, bisa?
aku nggak tau musti ngomong lewat apa, since we almost never talk.
kamu baik baik aja kan? sehat? nggak sakit? nggak capek?
jaga kesehatan ya! :) jangan sampe sakit kayak dulu itu.
selamat berjuang. aku doain kamu.

semoga kamu baik baik aja.
terima kasih untuk selama ini.

cheers,
dari temenmu yang paling fangki .

Time

2011-04-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

If nothing lasts forever,
would you be my nothing?
If it's time that heals every wound,
would you be my time?

You, something abstract.
Healing.

Yet killing.

Menunggu

2011-04-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

Ini tanganku,
kalau kau mau.
Ini kakiku,
kalau kau mau.
Ini otakku,
kalau kau mau.
Ini darahku,
kalau kau mau.

Mau tak mau,
ini hatiku.
Dan.
Rinduku.
Beradu berpadu dalam waktu.

Mood booster

2011-04-09T03:49:00.001-07:00

"Wueleh...gmana kok gag bisa?!? Tak gigit loh -_____-
Hmmm... Mungkin ini akan menghiburmu..

*joget2gapakebaju*
-..-"

"Kok kamyu yg mnta maaf :((
Akuu aja yg mnta maaaf,, kamu minta cokyat :D
Wah, pdhl aku dah bawa lho zz"

"Aku salaah :(
Salah pondok :p
Aaaa, km marah aja ama akuu...aku iklas :B
Wiw, kok dobel... *nangis*"

sender: stalker.

where have you been, eh?

You're safe

2011-04-09T03:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, a woman hides because she just wants to be looked for.

Sometimes, she closes her heart tight because she wants to know who tries hard enough to open it.

Sometimes, she denies that she's in love because she's afraid of being hurt.

Sometimes, she confuses you because SHE IS CONFUSED too.

And sometimes, she says "I don't care anymore." because she doesn't want to scare you.

"Even if it breaks your heart to be just friends, if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit."

You'll be safe.

You are.

indecisive.

2011-03-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

well, this will be the last, dude.
bye.

Adelaide Sky

2011-03-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

Adelaide Sky
Music and Lyrics by Adhitia Sofyan

I need to know what’s on your mind
These coffee cups are getting cold
Mind the people passing by
They don’t know I’ll be leaving soon

I’ll fly away tomorrow
To far away
I’ll admit a cliché
Things won’t be the same without you

I’ll be looking at my window seeing Adelaide sky
Would you be kind enough to remember
I’ll be hearing my own foot steps under Adelaide sky
Would you be kind enough to remember me

I’ll let you know what’s on my mind
I wish they’ve made you portable
Then i’ll carry you around and round
I bet you’ll look good on me

I’ll fly away tomorrow
It’s been fun
I’ll repeat the cliché
Things won’t be the same without you

I’ve been meaning to call you soon
But we’re in different times
You might not be home now
Would you take a message
I’ll try to stay awake
And fight your presence in my head

download the song here.

Adelaide Sky, from the album Quiet Down by Adhitia Sofyan

download the the album here.

enjoy :)

City Lights

2011-03-25T22:54:00.000-07:00

Eiffel with fireworks

Venice at night

Paris :3

Viva Las Vegas!

Lovely hometown, Yogyakarta <3

Verona's downtown at night

AMSTERDAM!

Science and Faith

2011-03-25T21:59:00.000-07:00

this is my favorite album so far.

Science and Faith, by The Script

1. You Won't Feel A Thing
2. For The First Time
3. Nothing
4. Science And Faith
5. If You Ever Come Back
6. Long Gone And Moved On
7. Dead Man Walking
8. This Is Love
9. Walk Away
10. Exit Wounds

my favorite one is..... ah I love them all!
you can download the album here.
enjoy :)

Venice!

2011-03-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

salah satu dari (banyak sekali) impian saya adalah:

menginjakkan kaki di Venice, Italia

Venice (Italian: Venezia [veˈnɛttsja], Venetian: Venexia [veˈnɛsja]) is a city in northern Italy known both for tourism and for industry, and is the capital of the region Veneto, with a population of about 270,660 (census estimate 30 April 2009). Together with Padua, the city is included in the Padua-Venice Metropolitan Area (population 1,600,000).

The name is derived from the ancient people of Veneti that inhabited the region as of 10th century B.C. The city historically was the capital of the Venetian Republic. Venice has been known as the "La Dominante", "Serenissima", "Queen of the Adriatic", "City of Water", "City of Masks", "City of Bridges", "The Floating City", and "City of Canals". Luigi Barzini, writing in The New York Times, described it as "undoubtedly the most beautiful city built by man". Venice has also been described by the Times Online as being one of Europe's most romantic cities.

The city stretches across 117 small islands in the marshy Venetian Lagoon along the Adriatic Sea in northeast Italy. The saltwater lagoon stretches along the shoreline between the mouths of the Po (south) and the Piave (north) Rivers. The population estimate of 272,000 inhabitants includes the population of the whole Comune of Venezia; around 60,000 in the historic city of Venice (Centro storico); 176,000 in Terraferma (the Mainland), mostly in the large frazioni of Mestre and Marghera; and 31,000 live on other islands in the lagoon.

The Republic of Venice was a major maritime power during the Middle Ages and Renaissance, and a staging area for the Crusades and the Battle of Lepanto, as well as a very important center of commerce (especially silk, grain and spice trade) and art in the 13th century up to the end of the 17th century. This made Venice a wealthy city throughout most of its history. It is also known for its several important artistic movements, especially the Renaissance period. Venice has played an important role in the history of symphonic and operatic music, and it is the birthplace of Antonio Vivaldi.
taken from Wikipedia

kenapa saya pengeeeeeeeeeeeeeen banget kesana?
karena kotanya unik. nggak ada jalan raya. adanya ya cuma kanal kanal. dan kita kemana mana pake gondola :3

uuuuuu. dan saya juga makin kepengen kesana, setelah nonton The Tourist, salah satu film favorit saya

so please, please God, make it true.
I'd do almost anything.
I'd never be bored to pray for this in every prayer.

please, let me see Venice.
even once in my life :)

best mate

2011-03-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

this blogpost is dedicated to Lintang Suminar, yang sudah dengan kampretnya bikin blogpost yang bikin saya mewek, so this could be called a revenge :p *evilaugh

halo lintang, terima kasih.
terima kasih buat waktu waktu yang indah yang kita lalui bersama *hiks
terima kasih, buat waktu waktu yang kamu luangin buat aku
terima kasih, buat pundaknya, buat pelukannya, buat kata kta penghiburannya
terima kasih, buat gosip gosip :p
terima kasih, udah mau dengerin aku, I know I sometimes bore you, but what the heck, thank you.
terima kasih, buat ini :''''''')

I know words can never explain how much I thank God for having you,
as my bestfriend,
as a sister (Idk older or younger btw)
but you know, I'm really really really grateful.
hey, thanks.

selamat berjuang, lintang. kalo kamu butuh dipeluk, kalo kamu butuh cerita, kalo kamu butuh dibela, aku di sini :)
you're 17 now, going to 18. jangan lembek lembek. jangan keseringan nangis *gak ngaca*

if you need someone, just take your phone and call me. I'll be there, as always :)

smile dear :)

salam sayang,

sahabatmu yang paling gaul dan eksis *ngek

We're not done, are we?

2011-03-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

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...................... Mau sampe kapan diem gini?

2011-03-20T06:42:00.000-07:00

I wrote this in the place we used to go
to have some silly chit chats :)
I was sitting on the same chair, kinda wishing it was you that's sitting on my opposite, just like you used to
how I wish I wasn't sitting alone,
how I wish I was with you

"It's been such a long time since we last talked
I know you may disagree
but for me, it's much longer than weeks
you know,
I miss your silly look
I miss our personal jokes
I miss biting your shoulder! ;p
I miss looking out at window next to me,
feeling good cause you were there,
wishing the moment freeze,
and thinking we would be like this forever.

well, I miss you.
maybe you don't, but what the heck?"

2 cups of sundaes,
bunch of laughters, remember?
those were great times.
for me, at least.
THANK YOU! :)

Hey ya :)

2011-03-06T06:01:00.000-08:00

Hey, I wanna tell ya something

kemaren aku udah ngomong lumayan banyak, tp kok belum lega ya
tapi buat ngomong sendiri, maaf, aku nggak cukup aerani. Aku nggak tau ngomongnya gimana tanpa aku jadi grogi, so I think this is the best way. Aku cuma bisa ngomong lewat tulisan -.- (okay I know it sounds like I'm sucha coward zzz)

I like having conversations with you. You can always make me laugh, you can always boost my mood. Yes, its you whom I usually call "mood booster" or "personal clown" ekekekek :p

I love your goodnights btw :)

I like staring at you lately, because well.. Lately I don't know whether I'll see you again or not. Oke lebay mampus zzzz -_____-

and hey, thanks for these days. I know you're not giving me chance or hope or what, but I appreciate the way you reacted :) thanks a bunch dude

aku tau, mungkin sekarang ada yg lain di pikiranmu, it's okay, I won't bother. Aku cuma mau kita nggak berubah, tetep kayak gini, an easy fun friendship :)

intinya? Nggak tau juga sih -.-

well, good luck for your exams, stalker 3:)

p.s. : inget tadi kamu tanya kenapa nomermu enggak aku save? Bukan gara2 aku hafal nomermu, bukan. Itu karena.......... Emmmmm kasi tau gak eaaaa ;)

karena nggak ngesave nomermu bikin aku agak susah mau sms kamu, jadi aku nggak kagol kagol atau galau galau :p ekekekek

It finally explodes

2010-10-04T22:13:00.001-07:00

I've been keeping my emotion these weeks. Now it explodes.

My anger. My sadness. That feeling of loneliness. That feeling of abandoned.

I'm no friend of mine.

I've been trying to hide away this fact. Now it reveals. That fact.

They, my 'friends', prove me that there's no such thing as love and friends.
It's just how you're doing and how you get along.

And nobody cares. That simple.

Reason

2010-08-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

I hate the way you stare at me

I hate the way you smile

I hate the way you tease me

I hate the way you ask me for help

I hate your eyes

I hate the way you can always make me fly too high

I hate the way you can always make me miss you

I hate the way you pick me up

I hate the way you play my hair

and..

I hate the way I can't even hate you.

The only reason why I love you.

Incomplete Lullaby

2010-08-15T23:46:00.001-07:00

Like a turning head,

like a second look.

Like a burning leaf of an open book

Like a pounding sea,

like a massive climb.

……………………………. When your eyes first met with mine.

Like a broken word,

like a tragic smile.

Like a thousands steps,

or a single mile.

Like a lonely chance,

like a savage glow.

…………………………………. When you turned and said hello.

I was just about to go,

There were flowers on the ceiling,

You left me feeling..

Like a fading voice,

like a closing door.

Like a dozen lies,

and a dozen more.

Like a twisted tongue,

like a distant bark.

……………………….. When we broke out into the dark.

Stars look like burning sparks.

The light were on but chilling,

You left me feeling..

Tired, I could not close my eyes.

On fire, but frozen inside.

To run or to hide.

Speechless, my words would not melt.

Whispered, I wanted to shout.

Without you I felt..

Like a fleeting thought,

like a double life.

Like a gentle feel of a warming taste.

Like a passive breath,

like a cooling blow.

…………………………….. When you stopped and held me close.

Inside nearly I froze,

Your touch is almost healing.

You left me feeling..

Tired, I could not close my eyes.

On fire, but frozen inside.

To run or to hide.

Speechless, my words would not melt.

Whispered, I wanted to shout.

Without you I felt

…………………………… Like a setting sun,

like a lost goodbye.

Like an incomplete lullaby.

After the Rain

2010-08-15T23:39:00.001-07:00

This is lyric from one of my favorite songs.
What makes this special? Because

……………… Because you like it.

After the Rain

If I could bottle the smell of the wet land
After the rain
I’ d make it a perfume,
And send it to your house
If one in million stars suddenly will hit the satellite
I’ll pick some pieces,
They’ll be on your way

In a far land across,
You’re standing at the sea
Then the wind blows the scent,
And that little star was there to guide me

If only I could find my way to the ocean,
I’m already there with you
If somewhere down the line
We will never get to meet
I’ll always wait for you,

After the rain..

Don't you know what to be called d-i-s-a-p-p-o-i-n-t-m-e-n-t?

2010-08-10T18:41:00.000-07:00

Since you don't try to mend my broken heart, and our broken plan..

...................................... Well, I don't think you do.

Speechless

2010-08-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

"If you love someone, don't say it. Show it. Prove it."

and I have.
I've been trying to show and prove you. That I love you. That I really do.

Can't you just see that?

Maybe you don't.

So maybe I should spread my words to tell you..

............. That I love you.

Is that clear enough?

:)

2010-07-03T20:14:00.000-07:00

I am the one who will certainly fix you
I am the one who will take care of you
I am the one who will go fight for you
I am the one who will make your days
if you let me.

so please, let me?

is this inspired by me?

2010-07-02T18:40:00.001-07:00

early in the morning I was still in bed
you called me just in time whdn the sunlight comes
you said "how was your sleep? I didn't do too well. would you be a friend take a walk with me?"

my friends they all been telling me that you're no good
you broke a lot of heart so you don't even know
I refuse to believe any of that is true
but I hate it when they're right and tell me told you so

I don't wanna be a victim of the broken heart
I don't wanna put myself in to another mess
I don't wanna be a fool make a big mistake
I should've known better
but it's allright
cause I'm in to you

early in the morning I was still in bed
we've talked about an hour til my ear turns red
you said "it's getting late, I'm gonna have to go. I'll be getting ready so how bout that walk?"

my friends they all been telling me that I should let you go
you broke a lot of heart and then you run away
I refuse to believe any of that is true
but I hate it when they're right and tell me told you so

I don't wanna be a victim of the broken heart
I don't wanna put myself in to another mess
I don't wanna be a fool make a big mistake
I should've known better
but it's allright
cause I'm in to you

early in the morning I was still in bed
the thought of you remains the biggest mystery
I was left unsure of all this thing would go
I guess I'll think about it when I walk with you

what's so matter?

2010-07-02T04:54:00.001-07:00

what's so matter with me?
it's not that I'm too kind
it's not that I love you too much
it's not that I care about you

what's so matter with me?
don't I hate you?
don't I wanna stay away?
don't I try to make distance?

and then..
what's so matter with you?
that I still believe your lies.
that I still want you at my side.
that I still care this much.

am I just being too kind & loving?

rrr-random

2010-06-10T20:24:00.000-07:00

I could possibly reach your hand.
I could possibly make you mine.
I could possibly be the one.
I could possibly make your heart loving me in anyway.

I just haven't done it yet.
so be patient.

dialog antara dua remaja

2010-06-07T00:53:00.001-07:00

beberapa hari yang lalu gue cerita cerita sama temen gue. dia pertamanya nanya gue, apa gue pernah ngerasa.. well, why do I have to be single?!?
gue cuma ketawa. gue bilang sama dia, kadang gue emang ngerasa gitu, tapi kadang gue juga pengen cepet cepet punya pacar. dia diem.

"Fir, kamu pernah suka sm beberapa orang. kamu bahkan bener bener total tulus sama beberapa diantara mereka. apa kamu ga pernah ngerasa kecewa gitu, kalo semuanya gagal?"

gue diem. mikir.

"aku emang ngerasa gagal, kecewa, sedih, patah hati awalnya, tapi habis itu selalu ada yang bisa narik perhatianku, sampe akhirnya I'm totally moved on. cuma sama yang terakhir ini aku bener2 rasanya stuck di tempat. but sometime aku pasti dapet lagi, gagal lagi, dapet lagi, gagal lagi teruuuus sampe punya suami. salah ya? apa aku harusnya perjuangin sampe dapet?" gue nyengir.

ga gue sangka, temen gue ini, yg katakanlah udah expert dalam pacaran, ternyata malah berkomentar lain.

"harusnya kamu pertahanin Fir. perjuangin. sampe dapet." itu kira2 bayangan gue tentang komentar dia.

"gapapa Fir, kadang orang yg berani itu orang yang bisa melepaskan, dan bukannya memperjuangkan.."

"bukannya yang berani itu malah yg bisa memperjuangkan?"

"berani memperjuangkan itu biasa, tapi berani melepas? kadang kan ada yg emang sebaiknya ga jadi.."

"hahaha aku ga kepikiran kayak gitu kok. masih muda ini"

dan kita ngomongin hal lain.

gue kepikiran omongan dia. kadang kadang, orang yg berani itu orang yg bisa melepaskan, bukan orang yg bisa memperjuangkan. berani melepaskan, artinya berani menghadapi sakit hati yg mungkin bakal nyusul.

gue pernah suka sama sahabat gue. sampe suatu saat dia tiba tiba deket sama orang lain, dan gue memilih mundur. gue liat dia emang sayang sama cewek itu, dan gue terlalu sayang sama dia buat ngeganggu hubungan dia.

finally, I let him go. gue ga langsung baik baik aja, gue benar benar terpukul. gue nangis berhari hari, sampe akhirnya gue capek, dan berhenti.

sekarang, gue berpikir gue berani waktu itu. berani nanggung resiko sakit hati. dan itu bikin gue lebih dewasa, menurut gue.

now, can I let you go, like I let him go, Kid?

know what? I still adore you anyway

2010-06-06T08:13:00.001-07:00

I'm totally disappointed. berapa bulan ini gue suka sama orang. gue bener2 suka sama dia, sampe rasanya............ am I still normal?

gue kenal dia lewat temen deket gue. lama lama, gue lebih deket sama dia daripada sama temen gue ini.
gue seneng ngabisin waktu sm dia. gue seneng ditemenin dia anytime anywhere, via texting. posisi gue yang broken hearted waktu itu bikin dia makin meraja. gue suka sama dia.

suatu saat, gue nglakuin KESALAHAN BODOH, yang bikin gue kehilangan dia. bikin dia pergi, without looking back. left me far far far far behind.
bego. gue bener bener bego. he had made me moving on, and I simply lied to him.

dia bener bener jadi orang yg beda. dia gak lagi ramah sama gue, gak lagi nyoba ngehibur waktu gue lagi down, dan gak lagi nyemangatin waktu gue kelimpungan ngelunasin tugas.

and I really miss him, the old one.

lo tau? gue sedih lo jadi kayak gini. gue gak suka lo yang kayak gini. gue mau lo yang dulu. maafin gue..

I really don't like him now, but..

I still adore him, anyway.

telat puber

2010-06-06T07:56:00.001-07:00

gue nulis posting ini sambil nggeges, fyi.

gue abis liat profile twitter seorang anak kelas 6 SD, dan gue bener bener TERKAGUM KAGUM. masalah dia hampir sama kompleksnya sama gue, excluding family crisis sih ya.
gile bro. gue beneran mangap mangap baca updatenya. dari masalah backstabber, pedekatean yg nggantung, sampe betapa sayangnya dia sama si pedekatean.
then gue mikir, astaga nagabonar, waktu gue seumur dia hal hal kayak gitu nggak pernah melintas di benak gue. bukannya sok tua ya, tapi it's damn true. gue naksir temen SD gue ya naksir aja gitu. no crushing at all. bahkan waktu SMP, gue ga kepikiran yg namanya mencoba merealisasikan target "in relationship". dan waktu masuk SMA, gue langsung mateng. gue mau relationship yg longlasting, serious one.
it's like.. I just jumped up from childhood time to adult time.

well, belakangan ini gue emang naksir. Lintang, temen gue, bilang gue telat puber, dan weeeell, gue mengamini dalam hati. kasian deh gue hahaha

gue pernah denger dari seorang temen gue, sodaranya, kelas 7 SMP, mantannya udah lebih dr 3. gue cuma mangap mangap. kelas 7 SMP, gue masih "nungguin" taksiran gue dr SD, yang bahkan sampe sekarang ga pernah nyapa gue kalo ketemu.

gila. dunia udah gila.

adek gue pernah nanya sama gue : "kak, pacaran enak ga sih?" gue cuma bisa nyengir. meringis miris kebelet pipis.

adek sayang, kakakmu ini belom pernah pacaran. kakakmu ini TELAT PUBER.

junewish

2010-06-03T20:20:00.001-07:00

I start this month with feeling bad. that's not what I intended before :(
but still, I'm full of wishes and hopes

june wish :
☺ no more chance to moan
☺ hopefully, I can take good chances and leave bad opportunities
☺ I can decide what's good and what's right for me
☺ make budget plan and obey it ;)

in general, sebenernya gue cuma pengen semuanya baik baik aja. no broken hearts, no fighting, no accident. gue pengen naik kelas dengan memuaskan. gue pengen nerima hidup gue apa adanya. gue pengen hidup gue tenteram..
mungkin ga mungkin ya? well, they're just wishes, right?

so be nice, dear June☺

I'm Namche!

2010-06-01T01:02:00.001-07:00

tadi, sebelum pulang, aku duduk duduk di ruang 102. dan anak anak paduan suara lagi latihan di ruang 114, dan suaranya kedengeran. and know what? aku bener bener merinding dengernya

Hymne SMA 6 Yogyakarta

Kami warga SMA 6, berbakti mengabdi pertiwi
Mengisi kemerdekaan, penerus juang pahlawan
Ikhlaskan jiwa ragamu, demi nusa bangsa
Berjuanglah sepenuh tenaga, mencerdaskan bangsa
Gemilanglah SMA 6, jayalah slama lamanya
Terus mengabdi pertiwi
Demi nusa bangsa..

I'm proud to be one of SMA 6 Yogyakarta's student. I'm proud to be Namche. I'm proud to say

"AKU ANAK NAMCHE!!!"

school? oh, no way.

2010-05-30T17:08:00.000-07:00

hmmmm have you, students, ever thought of dropping out school. I haven't. I love my school. I love studying quite enough.
but now I'm having some troubles. exam's coming over, and I. can't. stand. the. tasks. and. assignments. they are really making me busy, and weeeeell, I'm not such a dilligent student. my lazy thoughts always bother. oh my..

I've done some of my tasks and assignments, and.. oh damn, the others are still there, waiting to be done.
I want to skip school for one two or three or four or.. yeah, as many days as I can finish my 'school things'. maybe a week, please? *begging*

today's Monday? oh, no.

Hello there!

2010-05-29T22:54:00.001-07:00

well, it's kinda usual start. let's see☺
I'm Raditha Firza, born in Yogyakarta on 15th of December 1993. as you can count yourself, I'm now 16☺
I'm now studying at SMA Negeri 6 Yogyakarta, as known as Namche♥
I love my school. I really do enjoy my time there, with my guys and gals, who are reaaaaally accepting♥
hmm I'm not kinda good student, honestly :p I'm studying science at XI IPA 6, highly recommended to be called SIPAINEM♥

enough for school. I love reading. books are my world. I love musics also♥
I love cooking and discovering new desserts♥

well, guess I've talked quite much. gonna write as soon as possible, after finishing exam on 12th of June :p

adios! ♥♥